It’s been a little while since my last progress post on “the big search part two”, aka the search for Mum’s biological father. I closed the last post stating that I was waiting on C’s DNA results, which would help us to determine what side of K’s family we were related on (C is K’s mother). We waited patiently for the DNA results…aaand K received them whilst Mum and Dad were away on holidays. As it turns out, she is a match to Mum, myself and my sister:
In looking at the DNA Detectives‘ Autosomal Statistics chart, this amount of shared DNA puts Mum and C’s relationship range between 2nd cousins and 1st cousins once removed (there are several other possibilities, however the two I mention above make the most sense in this circumstance). In going off my mirror tree for Mum’s paternal side, C could very likely be her first cousin once removed. Meaning that one of C’s first cousins is Mum’s father. C has a number of male first cousins, three of which I was able to eliminate as ‘suspects’ if you will, due to their age and/or zero hits on the mirror tree (I promise I will get around to explaining what a mirror tree is to those who aren’t well versed in this genetic genealogy stuff…all in good time!).
Anyway, this brings me to three ‘suspects’. I’ve been working on these men’s families, researching them back and paying attention to their other parent’s lineage (that is, the side of their family that ISN’T related to K & C, as that may help me narrow down the pool of suspects yet again). I have been tearing my hair out for weeks as it seems those sides of each of these men’s families haven’t been testing much!! Until two weeks ago, a distant match popped up as having a Shared Ancestor Hint, which happened to help me eliminate one more man.
…and then there were two.
Around the time C’s DNA results came in, I received an email from K, asking what Mum and I would like her and C to do, with the knowledge that I had been on the right track all along in mind. We settled on K and C sending an email to one of these two men, simply mentioning that they had been doing some research into the family and that they’d come across Mum and I as DNA matches, and that we had a bit of a story to tell, they sent him a link to my initial blog regarding our search. No mention was made at this stage to him regarding what we think his involvement could be in it all, we just want to see how he’ll respond. That was several weeks ago. No response yet, as apparently he is on holidays…but I’ve been promised by K and C that they will make sure he’s received the email if they don’t hear back from him after he’s back (of course allowing some time for him to settle in back home).
For us, that means a bit of an anxious wait, to put it mildly. I find myself checking my email obsessively. I question everything, constantly asking myself “How do I know I’m right?” which sees me going back through the mirror tree often, ensuring I have thought of every possibility. The conclusion Rose and I had originally come to though, still seems like the one that would make the most sense, that Mum’s father is one of these two men. So I have to be patient and wait for a response. At least he’s just on holidays and not ignoring the email, right? Timing IS everything though…if I’d known he was away, I would have asked C and K to wait to send the email a little while after he got back. But, they were also unaware at the time of his absence and what’s done is done!
The Internet is quite the godsend though…besides researching the mirror tree as far back as possible and also completing descendancy research just for the heck of it, I’ve taken to searching possible close relatives on Facebook. Close relatives as in those who could potentially be either Mum’s paternal first cousins or siblings. I feel creepy doing it, but it’s mere curiosity! I found them and it felt weird to see how young these potential Aunts, Uncles or 1st cousins once removed were in relation to me. One potential Aunt of mine looks to be maybe only five or six years older than me! I find it weird too, that I can’t let myself get excited about these findings just yet. Until I hear back from C & K regarding a response from Mr Potential Bio Grandfather, I can’t let myself hope too much. Mum can’t either and she doesn’t. She’s been down this road before. Will those smiling faces I see on Facebook react positively or negatively to the idea of another sibling and two more nieces existing?